Turns out the fancy hand lotion I’ve been using isn’t hand lotion… it’s soap.
It took me a month of worsening redness to stop thinking, “the stinging means it’s working!” and start thinking something was wrong. Maybe I’m allergic to one of the ingredients?
I needed a magnifying glass to read the label, and right there in tiny words I saw: WHIPPED SOAP.
I’ve been rubbing – carefully, thoroughly, repeatedly, nightly! – the totally wrong item into my poor, cracked skin.
In my defense, this was an unexpected thank-you-for-your-purchase bonus from an online order. And the printing on the little jar is inexcusably small. And like many people my age, I can’t read anything smaller than a billboard without reading glasses.
But that’s not much of a defense.
The real answer is that my brain has two reading modes: scrutinize every single word and ask detailed questions as if lives depend on my attention to detail… or skim the first few words and move on, details be damned.
You may have heard other stories of me missing the details:
There was the time I signed up for a class called “Managing Difficult Emotions at Work,” because – obviously! – my work was filled with people and their feelings.
But the class was for people – mostly court-ordered – who punched their boss or yelled at their staff or otherwise failed at Managing [THEIR OWN!!!] Difficult Emotions at Work. Oops.
Another time I registered for a Mother’s Day workshop as a Mother’s Day activity for me and my mom.
We walked in together after enjoying yummy brunch and participated in the group introductions. Cathy Woodyard, the person in charge, reacted strangely, I thought: “That’s brave of you to bring your mom.”
Me: “To a mother-daughter workshop?”
Cathy: “No. This is ‘Healing the Mother Wound.’” Oops again.
Which reminds me why I’m telling you this. You can’t miss the fine print on any of my products… because there isn’t any. Our standards are high and our stance is clear: Our goal (Celena’s and mine) is 100% customer satisfaction.
Granted the words may look small if you’re reading on your phone, but the message is clear:
Share anything you buy with your interns and students – even Eating Disorders Boot Camp – plus your staff and your colleagues. We just ask that you don’t plagiarize or post it online.
Get a full refund for anything you buy, as long as it’s before you claim any CE credits.
Payment plans are always available – no questions asked – for any product, including consultations.
Technological problems are handled ASAP with our appreciation and apology.
My professional goals are to share my knowledge, make a decent living, and help you do the same. If you know of a way I could be doing that better, I’m open to hear it.
That’s the fine print. Hopefully nothing to read between the lines, and if you ever have a question about anything, you’re of course welcome to email either me or Celena, or even both of us.
And BTW, the giveaway last week was so much fun that we’re doing another one next week! Stay tuned… Jessica